Monday, April 09, 2007

Penguins On A Treadmill

Do scientists really have to put penguins on treadmills and monitor their heart rate to prove that global warming is real? Apparently so. Why not just administer polygraph tests to bought-and-paid-for global warming debunking pseudo-scientists. That might save a lot of time and trouble, and penguins won't have to be made to run like they're trying to catch the 5:00 train. Besides, the problem will be solved by 2023, when President Jenna Bush orders giant mirrors to be positioned around the globe. Haha, when the aliens turn their telescopes our way, they'll only get a reflection of their ugly selves.

It figures that someone would write a book about the Nazis' proclivity for environmentalism, and thus draw a connection between the two. Well, damn those Greenpeace Nazis for torturing us with patchouli, and making us all adhere to dolphin fascism. But, it's ironic that the book was put out by Swallow Press. What ELSE will the drones be required to swallow?

Due to the high price of gas, I've decided to put my house-mate to work driving some extra shifts for me. This eat, sleep and play stuff is over. I'm saying, return with your shield, or upon it. And, don't call me on my cell phone to complain about yuppies who don't tip. It's your problem now.


Blogger bleeeeeeeeeeeeeee said...

They used to give her two or three hundred yards start, and then pass her under way; but always at the fag-end of the race she'd get excited and desperate-like, and come cavorting and straddling up, and scattering her legs around limber, sometimes in the air, and sometimes out to penicillin one side amongst the fences, and kicking up m-o-r-e dust and raising m-o-r-e racket with her coughing and sneezing and blowing her nose--and always fetch up at the stand just about a neck ahead, as near as you could cipher it down.. You don't happen to know the Gately's, of New York, do you? tramadol he was quite anxious to know.. Reader, if you were ever detained in a strange house by levaquin the non-arrival of your carriage, you will easily understand the excessive annoyance of finding that you are keeping a family out of their beds beyond their usual hour.. They won't know you're morphine callin'.. Isaacs came round, good fellow! to arrange for it--got the townhall, got the Governor to preside (the saint!--he ought to have triplet doubles provided him by law), and zoloft then came to get me to speak...

9:53 PM  
Blogger Pissedoffcabbie said...

Thank you for that, and I do hope you go organic real soon. In the meantime, stay away from the window.

11:18 PM  

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