Friday, March 30, 2007

$3.35 A Gallon

Look at that- Bush and Cheney syphoning gas out of some poor, unfortunate citizen's car. Sure, they can afford these exorbitant prices, but, as they would tell you, stolen sweets taste sweeter.
As for the oil companies and their record profits, well, you take what the public gives you, and the American public would give you their second-born child just to keep driving. The words "price gouging" just don't seem to register with the drones anymore, and the idea of alternate-powered cars still seems as distant as Pluto. It's a long-standing love affair that we have with driving until we drop. But, the one thing that won't be dropping, at least until the next election, is gas prices.

Occasionally, someone does reach a boiling point, and does their part to inspire rebellion, but it's short-lived at best, and the thought-police are quick and severe in dealing with such uprisings.
Sure, we could all cut up our Exxon credit cards and deal only with, say, Arco, but the lines at the pump would be long, and that would be making some serious incursions into our quality time, and who's willing to make THAT kind of sacrifice? Thus, the big smiles on oil executives' faces. The rationale for high gas prices is in place, and they've got us right where they want us, and there doesn't seem to be much anyone can do about it, except for moving to San Francisco, growing dreadlocks, and driving a granola-powered Volkswagen. Watch out for Muffy and Buffy in that big SUV, though. They'll run you off the road so fast, you'll think it was 1906 again. And, you've got to watch for those graduates of the Paris Hilton School Of Driving. They're out in force on the weekends, and their tanks are full. Just ask any cabbie.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Foreclosing Time

As the Irish say, many go out for wool and come back shorn. In Cleveland, Ohio, there were 15,000 mortgage foreclosures last year, with many more on the way. It seems that high-interest subprime loans are the culprit, and minorities and the elderly are the victims. At this point, the city is unable to even keep track of all the vacant homes.

What happens to these unfortunate homeowners? Do they move into run down, over-crowded apartment dwellings? Not given that option, will FEMA set up tent cities for them? Once upon a time, the flats of Cleveland was a shanty town. Will those times return? Or, will folks be given one-way Greyhound tickets to San Francisco? It's a wonderful life, indeed.

The more important question is- how were these people suckered into such risky loans, and why wasn't this development foreseen? Perhaps the bankers and loan officers should be the ones to leave town. After all, who would Jesus foreclose on? In the 80's, a Mahoning County, Ohio sheriff named Jim Traficant defied a court order, and refused to foreclose on unemployed homeowners. It figures that, as a Congressman, he was later railroaded into prison. Wear that thorny crown in good health, Jim.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Subpoena Coladas For Everyone

Subpoena, subpoena, subpoena. Did I miss anyone? The crow is sizzlin' on the grill for Bush supporters now, and that Texas-style barbeque sauce ain't gonna make it go down any easier. A constitutional showdown is building, and it seems like the guys in the black hats are running out of bullets. Then again, they still have a trump card or two to play if so desired. If something works once, it'll always work again. Somewhere, there's an office pool picking the date for martial law. I have my suspicions, but I wouldn't want to make anyone a winner.

If that isn't bad enough for the Washington weasels, a very up-scale D.C. Madam has turned her phone number records over to the media. Divorce lawyers will be parachuting into the Beltway if those numbers are matched up to names, and the story goes public. A trophy wife rebellion would be on, and the beleaguered husbands would be hunted down with lit torches. Please, may it be so. We all need something fun and invigorating to watch for a change, and that would do just fine.

It's comforting to know that at least one presidential candidate is calling for Bush's head. That would, of course, be the irrepressible Dennis Kucinich. Would it be that he got the kind of coverage that Hillary gets, it would actually be encouraging. As it is, Dennis gets county fair level attention from the msm, so he may as well be saying that Bush deserves the guillotine. Noone but the internet news hounds will get the message. The rest will bang their pans or rattle their jewelry for whoever shows up big on the screen. It could be Sponge Bob, and they'll all clamor for his great leadership, and bask in his magnetic personality. Or, it could be a neolib dragon lady ready to carry the torch for the elite as the pendulum swings back to the left. At this point, it wouldn't make much of a difference. But, hey, remember to take a cab when you go to vote. Everyone and their brother will be down there, and parking could be a problem.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

See Halliburton Run

It comes as no surprise to learn that Halliburton is preparing to move their headquarters to Dubai. There, they will be indictment-free, and more able to oversee the plantation formerly known as the Middle East. The Iranians must be delighted with this development. They can report directly to their soon-to-be bosses, and there won't be any failure to communicate. In other words, the Pharoah is now in your face, so look busy.

Likewise, Bush is anticipating a move, and has bought 98,000 acres in Paraguy, right next door to the property that Rev. Moon has purchased. Well, I guess when you're the decider, you have to plan ahead. Given all the shit this administration has stirred up, it's not hard to image the first President-in-exile fleeing in the dead of night to his South American compound to escape the wrath of a fed-up public, and a righteous special prosecutor. We know his MO by now- when the heat is on, run like a dog.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

To Bee Or Not To Bee

“There is a general consensus that it is now reaching crisis proportions,” says professor May R. Berenbaum, head of the department of entomology at the University of Illinois, and chair of a committee for the research arm of the National Academy of Sciences that studied the status of pollinators in North America.

The good professor is talking about the recent disappearance of bee colonies throughout the U.S. Up to 70% have now vanished in 20 states, and it's cause for serious concern. The so-called experts have even given it a cute name- colony collapse disorder. It sounds like what would happen to China if punk rock was introduced there, but, all jokes aside, our food-growing capacity would be seriously diminished if colony collapse disorder continues unabated. The bees' worth to our economy is roughly 14 billion a year. The beekeepers do not know the cause of the disappearance, so there are no answers currently at hand.

In other news, Hillary Clinton seems to have acquired a southern accent, and a pretty hokey one at that:

"I don't feel no-ways tired". I DO, Hillary. I'm very tired of you, and all the other tin-horns coming down the trail. You're about as trustworthy as a diamondback rattlesnake, and just as beady-eyed. What did we ever do to deserve you?