Making The McWorld In Our Image

I guess it isn't enough that we tacitly agree to dumb down here in our own country. No, we really want the rest of the world to be just as crass and tasteless as we are. There are new markets to conquer, and they need to be softened up. We'll export our glittering mediocrity with a happy face, but you'll be staring down the barrel of a gun if you dare to resist. Friendly fascism works out real well here, but it can take something a little more brutal to get the folks abroad to dance the dance.

Much in the way Christianity was once spread throughout the world, now American-bred idiocy pushes it's way through the thicket and brush, overturning the temples as it goes. Cable TV, junk culture and bad drugs are finding their way into everyone's neighborhood, and it's an ugly scene. But, hey, if Desperate Housewives and paxil work for us, then it should work for them. And, there's plenty of room down here at the bottom.

If those ancient lizards of rock, The Rolling Stones, can slither over the Great Wall of China, then is Madonna far behind? Will Pepsi be the pause that refreshes after a hot day in the Nike factories? Of course, the toughest nut to crack will always be the fundamentalist Muslims, but that's what the bombs, tanks, and torture chambers are all about. Once the door is finally open and a little light shines in, the turbans will give way to Yankee caps, and the Koran will be put aside for People magazine. If not, well, there'll just have to be far fewer muslims in the world. We have our ways, don't you know. I'm just wondering who will cut the ribbon when the global theme park is officially opened.